Secret Admirer
by GhastlyRevenant
Summary: After a misunderstanding, Yoshiki, ex-delinquent, becomes the 'secret admirer' of class representative Shinozaki Ayumi. Despite keeping up the charade, he has no intention of revealing himself, but Ayumi is dying to know who's writing her. Will it ever be revealed?
1. September 12th

This story was written in the fashion of a role play. Some parts will be edited to flow better in the style of a story, but it will mostly remain in the same format. I wrote the parts of Yoshiki, Naomi, and Mayu. My friend is responsible for the parts of Ayumi, Sakutaro, and Satoshi. The writing was done by us, but we do not own the franchise or characters included.

Kyuji, an extra, random character was played by me. Other random ones I played were Isu and Aira. My friend wrote for Mai.

* * *

Today was the day. September twelfth. Ayumi's birthday... Probably the most important day of the year! Yoshiki sat at home with his arms crossed, analyzing the wrapped present before him carefully. It had to be _perfect_. After all, Ayumi wasn't just a classmate, or friend! She was much more, and she deserved the best he could come up with. His best had taken him until one in the morning, and he had almost run out of wrapping paper, with how many times he 'messed up' on it. Then he probably went through a mile of ribbon trying to get it right... But now, he was finally satisfied, and was giving it one last checkup before actually handing it over... Handing it over, in person...

His cheeks lit up just thinking about it, and it only made his nerves worse as he tied on a small birthday card, though it was more of a confession. He took a deep breath and sighed it out, to try and calm his nerves. He could do this... He had to do this, in fact. He had put it off too long, and now was perfect... Well, one could say that Valentines was perfect, but he had come up with too many excuses to confess anything that day. So... he was delayed to her birthday, but now that he was actually about to, he wanted to delay it some more. **"Ugh, this is ridiculous...,"** he muttered to himself, scratching his head nervously. He just had to do it! Get it over with! With this urging thought, he stood and grabbed the box, leaving his apartment and intending to go to Ayumi's home.

Though, there was a small unexpected hill in his plans. He almost crossed Ayumi on the street. He hadn't finished mentally preparing himself, so he actually had to hide from her. Ah, but... something caught his eye... He peaked around the corner, spotting another present in her hands, tied with blue ribbon. She was so happy about it, with that cute smile and red tinted cheeks... Though that sweet expression wasn't for him. He grew slightly bitter, turning to plant his back against the wall. **"Satoshi...,"** he muttered with a small fire in his stomach. Ugh, now... he didn't want to give her this at all... She didn't like him, and he didn't want to mess up their friendship with a rejection... He gulped, glaring down at his present quietly, his confidence quickly slipping away. He couldn't do this... but he still wouldn't ignore her birthday, of course! She was one of his best friends, so he'd still give it to her, just not as forwardly, and not with this _stupid_ note... He sighed, finding himself pushing off his confession indefinitely.

* * *

While she was still out in town, he sneaked past her to her house, placing the neatly wrapped gift on her doorstep and stepping back quietly. It was a little stupid to be so secretive with a close friend... He guessed he'd just tell her he was in a hurry, she wasn't home, so he just left it for her... Yeah, that'd work. He turned, retreating before Ayumi could make it back home. He had been so sure he would've let her know today... but maybe that day would never come...

Ayumi was in good spirits as she finally headed home for the day. Her birthday had been fun; her friends had made sure of that. It was always a little overwhelming to be given so much attention and gifts, but she appreciated every gesture with her whole heart. Her eyes softened as she shifted to pull out the gift Satoshi had gotten her. The gift she valued just a little more than all the others. After all, just looking at it made her think about him going through the process of thinking of a gift for her, going out, buying it, and wrapping it. The entire idea made her heart flutter uncontrollably. She looked at the book of scary stories with a smile. _'I probably shouldn't be giving you ammo to use against me, but I've heard that this is a great collection and knew you'd like it...,'_ Satoshi had explained with a sheepish smile when she unwrapped it. He was just too sweet and adorable.

As Ayumi approached her house, a small detail instantly caught her eye. A nicely wrapped gift? She halted, staring in bewilderment at the bundle. She slipped her book back in her bag so her hands could be free. She ducked down to give the object a closer look. The wrapping was meticulously done, the ribbon on top looking similar to a picture in one of those home magazines. This was... odd. A couple of her friends had given her gifts and all of them had wished her Happy Birthday. She couldn't understand what this was doing here or who would leave her a gift like this. Especially since it hadn't been shipped by mail, given it wasn't in a cardboard carrier box. She plucked the present off the ground to go into her house. She shut the door quietly behind her.

Ayumi blinked curiously as she noticed a small card held under the ribbon. She took it off, figuring that it would satisfy her curiosity. As she read the writing on the card, her eyes slowly widened as a deep blush came over her face. It was... a confession? An unmarked confession. A secret admirer.

* * *

Ayumi had been restless all night. She just kept wondering who the person was who left her the gift. She pulled from her class representative memory to go through every boy in their grade in some attempt to find it out. Though, she couldn't figure it out so simply. She had been tempted to text the girls but figured she should show some restraint. Plus, she needed to let herself go through the idea that there was a boy pining for her. It was an exhilarating thought that she wasn't sure how to handle.

While eager to share the event with the girls of the group of friends, she stupidly ended up sleeping in a little late because it had taken so long to fall asleep. When she finally got to school, there was only a second until the bell rang, indicating class was starting. She had been fidgety through the first half of the day. Each boy in the class seemed to be a potential runner for this mysterious boy. Well, minus the three boys she talked to on a daily basis. She could hardly imagine any of the three pulling something like this.

Once the lunch bell rang, she ignored the idea of even getting her lunch out to hurry over to Mayu, Seiko, and Naomi. **"I have a secret admirer,"** she suddenly blurted out to the girls. Her face was beaming red, but she was obviously pleased with the development. The card was tucked carefully away into her pocket. She had been about to head out the door with it earlier that morning but something just made her want to keep it nearby.

Yoshiki had calmed down a bit after delivering the present. He had later texted Ayumi a simple happy birthday, still going under the excuse of having to work. He added in an apology for not being able to go to the party with the rest of them, but it was all really just to keep an out ready in case she asked why he had just dropped off his present. It was really cowardly, but he couldn't help it. He had no confidence in this whole romance thing... He was scared of it, but in love at the same time. It was enough to drive someone nuts...

Now, as Monday came up and they were back at school, he did feel a lot better. He just had the problem of trying to decide when this whole cycle would repeat itself... Christmas?... Probably. Or maybe New Years... He'd hype his confession up, and then fall through at the last second. He gave a solemn sigh, gazing ahead at the board as Ms. Shishido carried on with the lesson. Nothing would ever change, because he was too much of a coward to accomplish anything...

At lunch, he sort of wanted to catch up on sleep, but before he was able to place his head across his arms, he caught wind of something Ayumi said. He still hadn't caught up with reality, so jealousy was buzzing in his head over the thought of someone else barking up Ayumi. He gave a sharp look to the windows at the opposite side of the room, focusing on hearing exactly what the situation was. If he could find out who, he could actually wail on him, since it wouldn't be Satoshi.

**"Eeeh, really?!"** Mayu asked with excitement, her eyes lighting up. Well, it didn't mean Ayumi would change her own feelings, but having a secret admirer was always exhilarating! To know some guy was head over heels for you was so flattering, it didn't really matter who it was. **"How'd you find out?"** she asked quickly, bouncing up from her seat and moving to lean forward on her desk and toward Ayumi, **"And-and, do you have an idea of who it could be?!"**

As Mayu reacted with excitement, Ayumi could feel herself getting even giddier. The entire thing was so wholly unexpected. **"Well, I don't have any idea of who it may be,"** she answered firstly. Her eyes glanced across the room. Her secret admirer could be just feet away... Her heart could hardly take all of this! She had worked so hard trying to calculate who it might be, but she had gotten nowhere fast. **"When I came home yesterday, there was a present on my front porch,"** she explained with a bright smile.

**"Oh, did it have a love poem or something attached to it?"** Seiko asked in an amused, bubbly tone.

**"It wasn't a poem... but it was a confession,"** Ayumi explained. Her entire body felt incredibly warm and tingly. Although, she hoped that whoever this was wouldn't be someone she disliked. She would probably at least want to give a couple dates a try, if he ever came forward. Sure, she held a lot of feelings towards Satoshi... but that wasn't leading her anywhere.

Mayu seemed transfixed on Ayumi as she explained further about this secret admirer. She was so excited! Ayumi had someone who liked her! Perhaps... even someone in this room! Naomi smiled, glad Ayumi was so happy with this. It was certainly a lot to take in... She had no idea how she'd take a secret admirer. **"That's so cute! But... how are you going to find out who it was?"** she asked curiously, but then added, **"Or do you think he'll come forward or send you something else?"**

Yoshiki was listening with immense focus, but as Ayumi explained the situation, he felt like his head exploded. He practically hit his head against his desk, moving his arms around it with frustration and embarrassment, hoping it just looked like one of his normal lunch naps. _Oh God, I left the note! Agh, this couldn't be worse! I didn't mean for this to happen!_ he thought, incredibly panicked. His face was burning, so it had to be red... He had to keep hiding and hope it went away by the end of lunch. Wh-what was he supposed to do _now_?! He had left his confession, and forgot to write his name on it! He was a secret admirer now... At first, it seemed less stressful, but it really wasn't. He wasn't ready for this, but it was all being pressed on him at once! But he couldn't just forget this ever happened... Ayumi was so happy, and he really enjoyed seeing that smile on her face... God, he had even said so in the note... Now... it felt like an obligation to keep this up... But that was killing his heart... being a secret admirer... It was risky, and he wasn't prepared, but he felt backed into a corner. She liked it... so he didn't feel right about cutting her off... Damn, what was he thinking?... This was crazy, and stupid...

Ayumi couldn't stop smiling... It felt a little silly to let herself get to wrapped up in such a thing, but it was impossible not to. After all, she had never had a boy shown interest in her before. The note had been so sweet, and she just couldn't stop herself from letting the words whip her up into a happy mess. **"I... have no clue how to figure this out. I mean, the only clue would be the handwriting on the note,"** she answered thoughtfully. Though, that wasn't even a full-proof method since she didn't know anything about handwriting analysis. **"I hope he'll end up doing something else. It'll drive me crazy if I never learn who he is,"** she admitted. It would be pretty disappointing for it to be a one-time thing, but she couldn't do anything about it. She wasn't even in a position where there was much she could do to take any decisions into her own hands. She would just have to wait and hope that this wasn't the end.

Yoshiki was stressed, but he could still hear. The girls were pretty close, so catching Ayumi's hopeful voice wasn't hard. His heart gave a small ache, and he was torn on what to do. It was dangerous to carry this on... He didn't want to risk her finding out it was him before he could prepare himself for the outcome. But on the other hand... she seemed to really like the whole idea... He wasn't sure if that meant she was actually interested in whoever the secret admirer may be, or if she was just wrapped up in the idea of being crushed on, but the reason didn't matter... He wanted her to be happy, so... he would carry this on... How?... Well, he guessed letters would be the safest bet... Typed letters, he noted, since the handwriting was a more dangerous clue than Ayumi even knew. They were friends... she'd get a sample of his handwriting _somewhere_. Being found out was the last thing he wanted... But now he had to keep coming up with letters... One heartfelt note was hard enough, but now he had to make them constant, and not give away anything of the past, and why he specifically loved her. It was too much of a clue. Ugh, he was getting in way over his head...

Naomi nodded lightly, placing her chin in the palm of her hand as she leaned against her desk. **"Well, if he really likes you, he probably won't stop,"** she mentioned. Secret admirers weren't usually just players or anything like that. Despite it being a shy approach, it was usually only done by those who really cared for someone. Surely they wouldn't stop with just one present and note...

**"Eeee, this is so cute! I hope he keeps writing you! It'd be so adorable!"** Mayu chimed with such a bubbly tone, it could easily rub off on anyone. Oooh, seeing Ayumi with this mystery guy in the future was making such a cute scene in her head! She was probably getting ahead of herself, but it'd be quite the romance, she'd imagine!

**"Just think of what a cute story it would be to tell your kids!"** Seiko squealed, feeling herself bursting with energy at the idea. Even if a secret admirer approach could be considered cowardly, it was undeniably romantic. A grand building to the eventual question of the relationship!

**"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves,"** Ayumi squeaked at mention of future children. Still, it was impossible to not be hopeful that this might lead somewhere. Of course there was the very large question of _who_ it was. It'd be dreadful to get to the end of this and find out she was horribly uninterested in the person putting all this effort towards courting her. Though... it would be wrong to deny the person at least one date, right? Well, so far from the little note she had gotten, she was certainly intrigued by whomever this was. **"I just need to wait and see what happens,"** she noted as her hand brushed over the pocket of her skirt. The note may be a beginning to something, but it could also be a one-time deal. While she was excited, she wanted to keep herself somewhat leveled headed.

Yoshiki thought he was going to faint at the mention of kids. It was stupid to get so flustered by some image in his head, but it wasn't like he could control it. And with that, his mind was now wondering all over the place. Dangerous places like... maybe this would work out. Maybe this was a good accident... Or, maybe, it was the worst thing to ever happen, and it would ruin their current relationship... It was times like these he'd just like to crawl under a rock and stay there for a little while... Well, he had to look on the bright side... At least this way, he could see that smile, and it actually be meant for him, yet still stay hidden until he was ready... whenever that would be... Yeah, if he played his cards right, and was careful not to leave clues, this could work for him, not against him... He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. The end of lunch was coming, and he had to get his face back to it's average complexion...

* * *

Yoshiki sat at his table, his fingers tapping nervously while his other hand held a pencil. He had to come up with drafts first before going to type it... Let's see... maybe he could come up with some sort of theme... Like each one be a small, everyday thing he liked about her in depth, leading up to bigger reasons... That seemed like the best idea he'd ever come up with... It also seemed too deep for any of his friends to expect _him_ to be the writer... Plus, it may be safe to muster the best vocabulary he could come up with. While the facts were a little insulting, they would work in his favor. Now... what would the first detail?...


	2. Letter 1

It was Sunday when a letter arrived. There was no return address, just the sending address and Ayumi's name.

_Dear Shinozaki Ayumi,_

_As someone who admires from the sidelines, I have found many simple things that occur every day that I cherish. I'd like you to know how important these things are to someone, how important __**you**__ are to someone, so that you continue to be yourself. As I have said before, your smile is among one of the biggest reasons I look forward to coming to class each day. Whether it be to yourself, your friends, or even to the one __**you**__ admire, I'll always love it, and you. Even if it's never to me. I hope that you are always smiling, and if not, that reading this, knowing that someone cares, will bring that cheery expression I hold dear back._

_Love,_

_Someone who cares_

When Ayumi's mom gave her a letter, she assumed it to be a belated birthday card from some relative. Though, as she found no return label, she found her heart picking up. She retreated to her room in a hurry, gently tearing the envelope open. Her face grew warm as she realized that it was another letter from her secret admirer. She had to occasionally stop reading the typed words to take a few heavy breaths and center herself. It was hard to believe this letter was about her. She almost felt like she was reading a romantic novel, and the words were directed at some main heroine. Her heart was pounding in her hears as this stranger proclaimed love for her once again, with kind and caring words that lit a fire in her stomach.

Ayumi's eyes widened slightly as it mentioned her smile at the one she admired. Satoshi. This guy knew about that crush and was still pursuing her? That took a lot of guts. She could hardly even imagine the idea to make a move on Satoshi given his poorly-hidden-to-everyone-but-Naomi crush on Naomi. She leaned back on her bed, reading the letter over and over again until the words were burned into her brain. She didn't want to forget a single letter. She wanted to know who this mystery man was... She wanted to know the person who actually looked at her in such a light and wrote such thoughtful things. She let out a happy sigh, finding herself eager and nervous for school.

Ayumi had no intention of letting the boys know about the letters because it was a little embarrassing. But, she didn't get a choice in the matter because Seiko has the biggest mouth known to men. Though her reasoning for filling the boys in was somewhat valid. After all, they may be able to give more insight than any of the girls could. She just wished that Satoshi had been a little jealous when Seiko had started to blurt it out, but he seemed more curious and happy for her than anything.

**"Wow, another letter?"** Seiko asked thoughtfully after Ayumi said she had gotten another on Sunday. **"What did it say?"**

**"Uh, well..."** Ayumi began to say, shifting a little nervously in her seat. This was an awkward conversation... especially since the boys were there. **"J-just... well... it was romantic..."** she tried to explain. She felt herself much too possessive of the letter and more specifically the exact words written to show them to anyone or give the others a detailed explanation on the contents..

Yoshiki had honestly been surprised when he, Satoshi, and Sakutaro were rung into the conversation. He was incredibly nervous, but by the looks of it, Ayumi still had no suspicion towards him, and probably never would. He was leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, fighting to keep his average look of indifference. If he held even the slightest change of expression, one of the girls would certainly notice... Maybe not Ayumi, but any of them knowing was too dangerous. They were sure to rat him out. So, he'd keep quiet, even if on the inside he was a flustered mess about succeeding in being romantic with Ayumi. So, he'd keep quiet, having no opinion on this 'mystery' guy.

Mayu was practically swooning next to Sakutaro, absolutely consumed by this idea of a secret admirer. **"Aww! We **_**have**_** to find out who it is!"** she proclaimed, completely gung-ho about this romantic endeavor. Naomi was beaming as well, but she had no idea where to start. Half their class were boys, minus the three friends that were present. How could they even start to investigate who it was?

**"Isn't the point of being a secret admirer to remain anonymous?"** Sakutaro commented with a bored expression. Ayumi's love life hardly concerned him, though Mayu was becoming dragged in with all the emotional excitement. It annoyed him somewhat to hear her comment on how romantic it was...

**"Yeah... I don't think he's given any real clues on who he is,"** Ayumi noted with a small frown. It was hard to know if he was just trying to soften her up to eventually ask the question, or if she needed to play detective to ever find out who this is. **"I just know he's in our class."**

**"Hmm...,"** Satoshi hummed thoughtfully as his eyes glanced over his fellow male classmates. He couldn't even begin to guess who would have it badly for Ayumi. The secret admirer probably wasn't open about his feelings to anyone, he would guess. So, he wasn't so sure he would be helpful in figuring it out.

**"Well, we know he's a coward,"** Sakutaro mentioned with a faint smirk. **"After all, this is the most roundabout way to get a girl's attention,"** he clarified his comment with a shrug. It seemed like it would be easier to just ask a girl out, and _then_ write her romantic letters and whatnot.

Yoshiki just watched everyone else have their conversation. Of course, Sakutaro irritated him, but he was right... well, sort of. He was even _more_ cowardly than this. He hadn't even meant to be a secret admirer! He was just going to live his life in the shadows of friendship, which was more chicken than doing anything at all. While he would've liked to keep quiet, to make sure his voice didn't slip, he guessed that wasn't exactly his personality... Plus, maybe he could test the waters some... That, and erase himself from further suspicion... Which was more cowardly still... **"Yeah. You sure you want to waste your time on a wuss like that?"** he asked dryly with a sharp gaze. **"If you ask me, I think it's pathetic that he's making **_**you**_** do the finding,"** he further commented with a skeptic tone. It was probably how he actually saw himself as. Pathetic. But again, he hadn't meant for this whole fiasco to come about. If it was up to him, she wouldn't be searching at all. But, at the same time, giving her something she enjoyed reading _was_ fulfilling... At least a little.

Ayumi felt herself become frustrated with Yoshiki and Sakutaro's negativity towards the entire thing. Not that she was surprised that the two were critical, since they probably didn't find the whole idea cute. She didn't care to try and see it in their perspective, though. Guys nowadays were so guarded with their emotions that girls were lucky to get a small compliment. **"He's not a wuss,"** Ayumi snapped, feeling defensive over this unknown guy. **"What he writes... well, it's brave. It's the type of things guys just don't say anymore,"** she said with a frown. It was a little embarrassing letting herself get worked up, but... she felt an emotional connection to what he's given her. To hear anyone just pass him off as a coward or wuss wasn't fair. **"Maybe this isn't exactly traditional, but I'm not going to disregard him because he's shy,"** she said firmly. She could understand the idea of testing the waters and giving someone a real taste of who you are before unveiling yourself.

Yoshiki made a small 'tch' at her explanation, glancing away stubbornly. **"Whatever. It's your decision,"** he muttered, illustrating just how much he 'didn't care'. Geez, what was he really getting himself in to? If he ever did work up the courage to reveal himself, he felt like this would come to bite him big time. If he didn't say he wrote the letters, she'd be more intrigued by that 'other guy', and upset that he had been so harsh with said guy. If he did... well, that was a lot less predictable. It could be how he always dreamed... or it could still turn into an utter disaster. Plus, there was the problem of proving it... but certainly that wouldn't be hard. He'd just have to... throw away a bit of pride and tell what the letters said, given that Ayumi wouldn't tell them.


	3. Letter 2

As if following a pattern, a new letter arrived that Sunday. It seemed to pick up where the other left off, assuming Ayumi got the theme of each weekly letter.

_Dear Shinozaki Ayumi,_

_Of course, to hear you speak is a delight in of itself. Even if I'm in a bad mood, you're sweet tone never ceases to raise my spirits. When you laugh, it's like new energy replaces the old. Though, when these things, your voice, laugh, and smile, are missing, I lose them as well. I always wish I could bring them back somehow, comfort you, tell you it's okay, and be there for you. But you are too far away for me to reach right now. So I'll simply stay behind, until you truly need me. I'll always be here, no matter what happens._

_Love,_

_The Shadow_

Ayumi had begun ritualistically checking the mail, unsure when the next letter would arrive. On Sunday, a week since she had been sent her last letter, she found that unmarked envelope. She really wish he would slip up a little so she could track him down. It was a thought constantly in the back of her head. It was especially distracting in class whenever a guy would talk to her. _'Is it you?'_ she would wonder, unsure of who could possibly be writing these letters to her. She took the letter up to her room, hiding away so she could read it without interruption. She opened the envelope carefully, a soft smile on her face as she unfolded the letter and began to read.

Last week he had written about her smile... this week her voice. It was embarrassing in the best way that a boy was taking notice of all these details. She never thought much of her behavior in class, and it was just hard to believe someone was admiring her. His writing of being there for her, wishing to comfort her when things got rough made her body warm. She wanted him to be there for her... and she would like the chance to be there for him as well. Although, she had no clue who this was... she may be letting herself put the cart before the horse. Still, she couldn't see how a guy like this wouldn't be someone she was interested in.

Ayumi continued reading the letter, her brow creasing slightly as he spoke of their distance. **"I wish you would meet me eye-to-eye,"** she said faintly, knowing this boy wouldn't hear her. She wanted to meet him so badly. They could be great together if he just came out from the shadows to make himself known. She didn't know what to do to make him come out. She would just enjoy what he wrote her and wait, it would seem.

* * *

Yoshiki was helping the weekly class cleanup, along with Ayumi, and a few other students. Today he had... more or less volunteered, just to spend a little long with Ayumi, but used the excuse that he had nothing better to do. Though, around five, the sky began to grow dark, and before long, it was pouring. Like, really hard. At six, the other students left home, but being the class representative, Ayumi had to stay and assure everything was exactly where it was supposed to be, the way it was supposed to be. And being the class representative's admirer, he stayed along for the ride, helping her with anything she asked of him. He had hoped it would've been a short rain, but by six, it was still coming a storm out there, probably harder than it had been prior. He gave a sigh, moving his hands into his pockets. Good thing he had gotten his umbrella... He hardly ever took it, but in the fall, it was more known to rain, so he had been cautious recently. **"It's nasty out there,"** he commented as he listlessly gazed out the window. **"Think you'll be okay?"** he asked casually, not letting actual worry set in his tone. He wouldn't like letting her go home along in this, but he couldn't very well walk her home. That'd be way too dangerous to his closely guarded, and hidden, secret.

Ayumi's stomach had dropped as the rain came pouring down. It wasn't a light drizzle that one could manage to walk through with minimal damage, either. It was pouring enough that being out there without an umbrella for any length of time would soak a person through. As other students left, she continued to do her check-ups, letting them drag a little longer as she hoped the rain would die down. Once the cleaning was done and everything was in order, she found herself very irritated at herself. When Yoshiki commented on the state of the weather, she hummed agreement that it was indeed nasty out there. Her narrowed eyes that were staring out the window flickered over to Yoshiki. **"I'm going to have to wait it out, I think,"** Ayumi said with a small frown. Or make a run for it, depending how long it refused to let out. **"I left my umbrella at home,"** she explained further. Honestly, she didn't know where her head was recently. Normally she was very much on top of organization and knowing what was coming. She had completely forgotten to check the weather forecast, and she hadn't even considered grabbing an umbrella as back-up even though the sky had been admittedly grayish that morning.

Yoshiki stared at Ayumi quietly as she explained her situation. Really, he shouldn't worry so much over it... But something about her being alone, near nighttime... Even in a school, it could get dangerous and scary, and he didn't want that to be a situation Ayumi would find herself in. So... he at least had to try and offer. Whether or not she accepted... well, that was out of his hands. **"It doesn't look close to stopping,"** he mentioned, turning to the window again in case his face got unexpectedly warm. **"We can share, if you want,"** he told her casually, trying to make it more of a friendly gesture than the romantic one it was made out to be.

Ayumi found herself inwardly cringe when Yoshiki observed the rain didn't look like it would be slowing or stopping soon. She had to agree, though one never knew with nature. Being wet wouldn't be that big a deal... she just wanted to avoid it. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow as he suggested they share. It wasn't a romantic gesture, obviously. Yoshiki probably wasn't capable of such things and wouldn't direct them towards her. Even if it was just a friend helping out a friend, she felt hesitant to accept his gesture. **"My house is probably out of your way,"** she said with an unsure look. **"I don't want to inconvenience you,"** she admitted. Although, she had no clue where Yoshiki lived, so she wasn't certain if her concern was even justified.

Yoshiki shook his head, crossing his arms. He didn't feel like he was going to blush, so he eventually turned to face her. He guessed it didn't affect him because he really was just helping her out, and it wasn't viewed as a greater than friend thing by Ayumi. Therefore, it didn't fluster him. **"It's fine. It wouldn't be an inconvenience. I don't think I'd be much of a friend if I left you here to run through the rain anyways,"** he mentioned, with a shrug, letting his hands drop back down to his sides.

Ayumi didn't know how Yoshiki was able to look at everything so simply. Well, it would probably be best just to accept his help. He certainly didn't seem bothered by the detour. She also didn't want to risk her books getting wet, and she had to take them home for the classwork assigned. So, she would just accept the hand he was holding out to her... figuratively, of course. She'd try hard not to be touching him under the umbrella. **"Well... if you really don't mind... Thanks,"** she said with a small, polite smile. The entire thing felt a little too couple-like to do with him, but it was ultimately about getting home without being drenched.

**"It's no problem."** Yoshiki didn't mind helping Ayumi, no matter what it was with, or when she needed it. Like he had expressed... he would always be there for her, even if she didn't even notice. Once they were outside and under the umbrella, he felt a bit intimidated by how hard to rain was coming down. He half expected the drops to break through the umbrella... The wind was fierce too, but his grip was too firm for it to blow away their cover... Also, this... close vicinity was making his heartbeat uncomfortable. He tried his best to keep his head leveled, though. This was nothing romantic... Just a simple situation of helping out a friend...

The weather outside was worse than she expected. The second they stepped out of the safety of the school's walls, the wind came rolling into them. Her hand on reflex grabbed the hem of her skirt to keep the wind from showing anything she didn't want shown. As they began to head out, she started to realize how awkward this situation felt. It was weird being this close to Yoshiki, but it would be with any boy. At least he was a friend, so there wasn't any potential underlying creepy factor to it. She felt like she should strike up some conversation, but without Satoshi there... it felt odd. She normally defaulted to asking about his grades and keeping up with work, but he's gotten in the routine of doing what he should for school, so that wasn't an option anymore. Urgh, it was weird walking in silence as the rain roared around them.

Yoshiki felt a little suffocated by the silence, but he guessed it was for the best. It was awkward... but it may seem too close to _not_ be awkward. Once he reached the house, he and Ayumi split up, exchanging small good-Byes and all that. It was a bit ironic... that she was looking so hard for this secret writer, acted so normally with him, and here he was, going home to come up with the third letter...


	4. Letter 3

September 29th, also the day of the third note. It came without fail.

_Dear Shinozaki Ayumi,_

_You really do have unbelievable focus, and take care of anyone in the class who's having trouble. I can always see the proof of your kindness in your eyes. Even when you're not feeling your best, I still see that spark, and know that if anyone were to ask you for assistance, you wouldn't leave them to help themselves. That strong, crystal blue... I sometimes get lost in them, it's hard not to stare, but in doing so, you're bright confidence and caring for your classmates rubs off on me. I am helped without being helped, pulled from my black abyss just by the guidance of those beautiful, shining eyes. I could never thank you enough. It's amazing, that you can also always be there for me, without even knowing it._

_Love,_

_The Lost and Found_

Back in her room again, a letter in hand as she excitably and nervously opened the envelope. Ayumi honestly was beginning to feel spoiled by the amount of affection coming in. She sat back on her bed, pulling the letter out carefully to read the printed words. Her face took a similar hue of red that had been present during previous readings. It was so hard to not get swept up in the kind, loving words. It was so weird, yet amazing, to read these insights he has had about her. The fact that he knew her well enough to pick up on the responsibility she placed upon herself as class rep and just acknowledgement of what sometimes was very difficult to keep up was very flattering. She wondered if this guy had always been looking at her, but she's never been looking in his direction to notice. It was a little depressing to think about such a possible good thing being ignored by his shyness and her ignorance. She smiled softly, the question burning in her head. Who was he? How did she really help him? _'The Lost and Found'_... Did that mean she found him? She couldn't really remember who that may be, since she constantly made the effort to help any classmate who needed it. Her collections of letters were growing, but she was no closer to finding out who this person is.

* * *

Monday's were becoming Ayumi's airhead day, it seemed. After the letters on Sunday and the building mystery, along with the attempt to analyze every boy in her class thoroughly, she just was out of it. It was after gym, a class she would have to put as her second worst 'subject.' She was pulling on her normal school uniform when she heard the sharp tone of an unpleasant fellow student.

**"So, Shinozaki, is it true that you've got yourself a secret admirer?"** Hamada Mai questioned with a clear scoff and jeer.

Ayumi looked over to see her and a couple of her followers. She tried to avoid these girls, since their attitudes were pretty awful. She frowned lightly at the question, unsure how that was getting around... Then again, it was a conversation piece between her and her friends... so, it must have been overheard at some point. **"Yeah, it's true,"** she answered simply, refusing to look the girl in the eyes. It would be seen as some type of challenge or something, she feared.

**"You don't actually think it's real, do you?"** Mai asked with a small giggle that made Ayumi flinch as she bit down rage. **"Nowadays people are always faking that stuff. It's probably a chick or a guy way out of your league seeing how easy it would be to crush the famous horror class rep,"** she said with a thoughtful drawl.

**"It isn't anything being done maliciously,"** Ayumi said firmly as she shut her gym locker. There was no way the things being written to her was a practical joke on anyone's part. They just... they seemed really honest.

The two girls behind behind Mai had large sneers on their faces, and one had her arms crossed. Hah, like Ayumi Shinozaki would ever actually have a secret admirer... She was so naive! Maybe after this guy plays with her feelings and crushes her, she'd learn.

**"**_**Hey**_**, we're trying to do you a favor,"** the girl on the right, Miyazuki Isu, said with a small wave of her hand, **"Be smart! It's obviously a prank!"**

The left one, Yoshima Aira, nodded, her fingers tapping lightly against her crossed arm. **"Spare yourself the humiliation, Shinozaki. After all, a secret admirer to a freak like you can't be anything but a trick,"** she said with a casual toss of her hand, the other holding her elbow in her palm.

Ayumi flinched slightly at being called a 'freak.' She always knew there would be a handful of people who disliked you no matter what, but Ayumi tried to avoid them for the most part. She didn't see why the would be attacking her... Especially with something as personal as a secret admirer. **"Yeah, I'll try to heed your warnings,"** she snapped sarcastically. These girls actually had the audacity to think they could change her mind? No... What person would even be cruel enough to just crush someone's spirits for the fun of it? Well, these girls would, but by their warnings and snappiness, she would guess they weren't behind it.

**"Are you really picking up an attitude because we're trying to help you?"** Mai gasped in an overacted hurt way. It was so stupid to believe that some guy would be putting this effort out for her when she wasn't worth it.

**"I don't need your help,"** Ayumi frowned, moving to go pass them but Mai caught her shoulder to hold her from squeezing by the girls.

**"Oh, really? Say, Class Rep, how many boyfriends have you had at this point? Hmm... how about, how many boys have even tried to ask you out?"** Mai asked with lopsided smirk.

**"W-well..."** Ayumi hadn't expected the detail of her previous relationships, or lack thereof, to be an argument point. **"None, but I don't think that really matters..."** she mumbled quietly. Just because no other guy had approached her like this didn't mean the one now was fake... right?

Isu scoffed, not really believing how stupid the class rep really was. Geez, where were all those smarts class reps were supposed to have? **"**_**I**_** think it does. All through school, you've never had a guy. Why would one pop up so suddenly?"** she asked skeptically, with her eyebrow raised and gaze sharp.

Ayumi couldn't argue that it was sudden, and it was the first guy who has ever shown interest in her that she knew of. The words were rubbing her the wrong way. She wanted to keep faith that all the words he had written had been true and heartfelt... but what if it was just a jerk or group of friends arranging romantic letters to crush her? She didn't want these girls to get the best of her, but she couldn't deny the reality starting to settle in to this nice dream. **"I don't know... he just did,"** Ayumi answered stiffly.

Mai burst into a fit of giggles. **"You really are naive. Even if some guy would come barking up your tree, do you think he would put all the effort into writing some dumb letters and sending gifts? After all, at this point you're easy picking,"** Mai commented, tossing some long black hair behind her back.

**"I wouldn't go dating any guy just because he liked me,"** Ayumi said with a strong glare, meeting the girl's eyes. **"I don't see why you even care about this,"** Ayumi pointed out, hoping it would shut the girls down.

**"I just can't stand to watch a girl get played so easily. I was trying to look out for you, Shinozaki. Oh well. Have fun with your nonexistent boyfriend,"** Mai said with a careless shrug. She let go of Ayumi's shoulder, turning heel and exiting with her friends.

Ayumi stood stunned in the locker room for a few moments. Her chest was aching as her little dream had some reality injected in it. She hated letting these girl have any affect on her, but it was impossible to deny that this could all be a very mean joke. She hoped it wasn't the case, but she had no control over anything that was happening. She sighed, rubbing her eyes in an effort to stop anything from possibly rising to tears. She took a few deep breaths. She needed to get back to class... even if her mood was completely and utterly shot.


	5. Letter 4

Sunday. The mailbox's flag sat down, and the daily mail left inside. Among those, the weekly letter. Even if it's contents were doubted, it would still speak them, attempting to convey their truth.

_Dear Shinozaki Ayumi,_

_I've spoken of your strength and will, but I can't dismiss your feelings. Your doubt. I can always tell when something is amiss, and caught wind of rumors... My word may not count for anything, but I'd like the chance to express how genuine every word is. Everything I've written about... it's always how I truly see you, and feel about you. I would never wish you harm. Instead, I'd like to protect you from it._

_Love,_

_A Shield, Not Sword_

Ayumi had become hesitant to open the letter when it arrived. She considered just putting it away and giving up on the idea her secret admirer was genuine... but she didn't have the willpower. She opened the letter and read it through, finding a weight taken off her shoulder. Maybe they were just more lies... but... she didn't think so. Her gut was telling her it was okay to believe in this guy's words. It was odd, she always managed to forget this person lived in the same walls as her during school hours. She could be walking by him everyday and have no idea. It was maddening. Though, the letters didn't seem to be leading up to any reveal yet. She knew she believed the intention behind these letters were not one of harm, no matter what those girls said to her. Still, she wished she could tell this boy that it was okay to talk to her.

Gym was split between girls and boys today, mostly because the guys were going to play dodgeball, a sport too dangerous to mix the girls up in apparently. Once hit with the ball, the guys were forced to sit out and wait until the whole round finished. So, they began to talk to kill some time as they waited to get back in the game.

**"So, seriously, are one of you guys writing those letters to Shinozaki?"** Hideo asked his friends with a raised eyebrow.

**"Tch, no way. She's pretty damn weird,"** Jun commented as he took a swig from his water bottle.

**"Oh man, the weird one's shouldn't be overlooked,"** Michi commented with a sly grin. His eyes had a certain spark to them that his two friends responded with confused, unsure looks.

Yoshiki had gotten out earlier, but mostly on purpose. He didn't really feel up to it today... Between work and scrounging his brain for those letters, he was pretty exhausted. Though, as he just mindlessly listened to everything in the background, he caught something interesting. He wouldn't care if they had just made fun of the letters... He really wouldn't have. But they were talking about Ayumi. He cast a glare at the boys, willing them to just shut up before he snapped. It wouldn't be weird that he would protect her name, right? After all, their circle of friends were close, so it may not be viewed as something relating to a crush... Well, hopefully, they'd drop the subject before he had to come up with such an excuse. Worst yet, this was Tsubota's class... He'd have to try to go the extra mile not to snap...

**"What are you getting at Michi?"** Jun asked in uncertainty. He had a feeling he knew what his friend meant, but he didn't want to jump the gun and seem super perverted or something.

**"I'm saying that the weird ones are great in bed,"** Michi told his friends with a lopsided grin. He thought it was a well-known fact.

**"Tch, says the virgin,"** Hideo pointed out with a laugh Jun joined in on. Michi always ended up talking about their female classmates in an overly sexual way. They had become pretty immune to what he may say.

**"Hey, I'm no virgin,"** Michi said with a pointed glare. **"Let me tell you I wouldn't mind taking Shinozaki on,"** he said, eyes glancing around to see if their female classmates were nearby. Eck, seems like they were in the gymnasium. **"She has a nice ass,"** he pointed out.

**"Yeah, but my tits are bigger than her's,"** Jun joked, leaning back against his elbows.

**"Dude, doesn't mean she's not worth a good time,"** Michi shot back, watching the dodgeball game for a moment. Seemed like a stalemate. Oh well, he hated playing these stupid games. **"Hehe, I'd ride her like a champ. Use those twintails of her's as reins,"** he said with a loud, obnoxious laugh.

Michi's laugh barely had time to get out of his lungs as a fist met with his cheek, ceasing the sound with it's own painful cracking one. Yoshiki couldn't stand this guy on average, just talking about any girl like this that he pleased, but talking about Ayumi crossed a line... Way past a line. His glare was sharp and challenging, his insides roaring with fury at the comments directed at his close friend. **"You know, I always think you can't get more disgusting, but you never cease to prove me wrong,"** he said with a low tone and dark expression. His mind was pretty much gone, only anger remaining, so he wasn't worried about the consequences. He was only prepared for a full-fledged fight.

It took Michi a moment to realize what happened. His hand shot to his now injured cheek. His entire head chattered in pain that he didn't know where it came from. He looked at Yoshiki as he began to speak, eyes narrowing as the entire situation set in. Of course he knew about Yoshiki's previous reputation but word was that he had tempered down. Then again, Ayumi was one of those people he was always around. His male pride did not allow him to back down. He had nothing to say back to Yoshiki, so instead he moved to return the favor of the injury.

The fight was barely a few swings in, when Tsubota grabbed the collar of Michi's gym shirt and yanked him back out of the fight. His other hand grabbed Yoshiki's shoulder with a bit more force than was necessary. **"Kishinuma, office. Now,"** he yelled at the one who he saw start the fight.

Yoshiki felt actually pretty good as Michi returned the favor. Fighting still gave him some sort of... relief... But he tried not to focus on that satisfaction as he took another swing, because if he liked it too much, he'd get back in the habit of it. He had been able to hit Michi a few more times, and the other got a couple hits on him, before Tsubota stepped in. It was a little disorienting, and the grip on his shoulder hurt, but he was quick to play it off with irritated disinterest. He shrugged off Tsubota's hand, moving his hands into his pockets with a slight grimace at the teacher. He turned without another word, leaving out the gym door. It was only until he was about halfway there that he cooled down enough to start panicking a little. What if he was expelled for this? And what would Ayumi think of him? She was sure to be disappointed... She also... probably didn't like guys who were so violent... Not that he'd ever be rough with her when frustrated. Being around her somehow had a calming effect on him, so he didn't doubt that he would never hurt her, as he claimed in the letter... But still, a violent person was a violent person... She probably didn't like his type, no matter who the anger was directed at... Revealing his feelings just got a lot more impossible, since he really wasn't her type... With his anger dissolved, his look turned more solemn as his eyes stared at the ground.

Ayumi initially didn't even notice that Yoshiki hadn't come back from gym. She sat in the front, while he sat in the back, so it was easy to not pay attention to the detail. During the breaks between periods, though, Satoshi and Sakutaro informed them of what happened in gym. Both the guys seemed pretty vague in the description, whether it was from lack of knowledge or just not wanting to go into detail she didn't know. All they told them was that Michi and Yoshiki had gotten into a fight and he had been sent to the Principal's Office. She felt a heavy disappointment in Yoshiki, finding it hard to believe after all this time he had lost control. She didn't know what the fight was about, but she didn't care too much. A fight was a fight. Involving fists was never justifiable in her eyes. When the end-of-the-school-day bell rang, she was out her seat right away. Yoshiki hadn't returned to class... which just made her and the others become increasingly worried that he may have exhausted his last string with the school. She didn't even know if he was hanging around the school grounds at this point, but she needed to find him and bite off his head. How dare he be so stupid and reckless!

Yoshiki hung around after the school bell, trying to think over what he could possibly do to make this up to Ayumi... He wasn't expelled, it was actually a pretty light punishment, as far as he was concerned... He guessed it was because it was the first time in his second year that he got in trouble... In any case, he was more worried about what Ayumi thought of him. His mind was going to the worse possible scenario, that she hated him... He got a cold chill, unable to keep down a shaky, nervous sigh.

It took a few minutes of wandering, but it was easy to target down Yoshiki. She didn't even think about what she wanted to say to him, just that she needed to yell at him for being stupid. **"Kishinuma!"** she snapped as she approached, hands clenched in fist to her sides in anger. **"What the hell were you thinking?! Getting in a fight with a creep like Michi!? And to do it in gym where Tsubota, who obviously has something against you, teaches! Are you just trying to get expelled after all your hard work?! How could you be so incredibly stupid!?"** she ranted at him, eyes narrowed. She went silent for a moment, looking at him expectantly for some type of explanation to his careless behavior.

Yoshiki almost jumped out of his skin at the sound of Ayumi's raging voice. He looked at her with obvious intimidation and regret, struck silent by her rant. His eyes avoided her for a moment, while he tried to think of a good excuse. But none existed, nor did he want to even use one. It _was_ stupid, he just... He wasn't good at controlling himself without her around. While given Michi wouldn't have been talking like that around Ayumi, if she had been there, he probably wouldn't have done it. **"I..,"** he muttered, eyes going to the ground in shame, **"I didn't mean to... I just... lost it... Sorry..."**

Even at Yosiki's willingness to back down to her, Ayumi's anger hardly subsided by his apology. **"You just **_**lost it**_**?"** she challenged with her angry gaze unwavering. **"What are you, an animal? You made the decision to throw a punch at him!"** she yelled, unable to believe he had been so careless. **"There's no good excuse for violence! It never helps with anything!"** It was so frustrating that he was still behaving this way, when she had thought he had grown out of such behaviors. Her disappointment was heavy and unpleasant. She couldn't believe he risked everything to get a punch in on Michi.

Yoshiki flinched slightly, still keeping his eyes to the ground with bitterness. It was hard to explain to someone who had never been so angry before... Not that he was justifying it, it was just... sometimes, it really was impossible to cool down on your own. It's not like he'd tell her that though. It would only make her anger worse. He also didn't wholly agree with the 'no good excuse for violence' thing... Not that this was a case where it was okay, but there were situations in which words couldn't solve everything. He would swear, no matter what, if some person laid their hands violently on Ayumi, they'd leave with only an inch of their life. Such a thing couldn't be settled peacefully. Still... he'd just have to give in, because he didn't want Ayumi to be angry with him. **"I know, I'm not trying to make an excuse... I was just trying to explain why it happened,"** he attempted to clarify, but still avoided her eyes, **"Even if it... doesn't make much sense... It's hard to explain... I guess I **_**am**_** an animal..."**

Ayumi frowned, her initial anger beginning to ebb away as he just accepted her harsh words. Her arms crossed over her chest, and she shook her head lightly. **"You're not... even if you chose to behave like one today,"** she said with disappointment in her voice more so than the anger she felt before. **"You have to play it smarter, Kishinuma. I don't know what exactly happened with you and Michi, but you would've been better just walking away. Skipping class to get away from a situation is preferable to beating someone up,"** she told him firmly, as a type of backup if whatever happened today happened again. He would be better off just removing himself from the situation. Classes could be made up and excused, but the school only tolerated so much violence.

Yoshiki felt the sting of shame as she continued, the voice of disappointment sharper than anger. Once she finished though, his eyes hesitantly moved to meet her's, his brows furrowed slightly. He gave a light nod, at least hoping he could follow through with it. Again, though, if she was around, it wouldn't be necessary... But there was no chance that was being mentioned. Instead, the nod was all he gave in response.

Ayumi relaxed a little bit as he seemed to understand the advice she was trying to offer. She didn't want him to throw his life away, and graduating without the group together would just be too weird at this point. **"Alright..."** she acknowledged in a calmer voice. **"Well, I have a student council meeting,"** she told him as she wrapped this lecture-session up. **"I'll see you- er, actually, what is your punishment?"** she realized. She doubted he had been expelled, since he would have probably left school grounds or have been in a much worse state. Still, suspension was always a possibility.

Yoshiki still felt ashamed, despite the issue being dropped. He was prepared to exchange farewells, before Ayumi caught his attention with a question. He rose his head slightly, to not look so pathetic. **"Ah... After school detention, for all of next week... The principal said he was going easy on me since it's my first time getting in trouble this year,"** he explained to Ayumi. So there was a bright side for him, if any at all... He didn't get expelled, or suspended.

Ayumi nodded lightly in understanding, glad to hear the principal hadn't been harsh to Yoshiki. Some of the teachers in the school almost seemed to have an agenda against him, so it was a relief to hear the principal wasn't determined to get rid of him. **"That's... good,"** she responded, unsure if that was really the correct word to use but it was an odd situation. The fight was very, very bad, but the punishment seemed fair. **"I'll see you tomorrow then,"** she told him before she moved to head back into the school building.

Yoshiki nodded, offering a small wave goodbye before turning to head home. Inside his head, there was a whirlwind of thoughts already going into his next letter. It was a little dangerous... for his core emotions to be the writer, but he was running low on fuel. Inspiration struck wherever, he guessed... and he doubted Ayumi would find out. Even if he said something really personal, she probably still wouldn't get it for the sole reason that 'it could never be him'. Plus... she probably wouldn't single him out anyways. She helped everyone, after all...


	6. Letter 5

_Dear Shinozaki Ayumi,_

_Belief or not, I'll continue writing until you fully understand how important you are to someone. That someone, no matter when, loves you, and will encourage your decisions no matter what. When everything feels chaotic, and I feel close to falling to pieces, you're the only person I can turn to to feel at ease again. Your warm gaze and inviting smile quells whatever rages inside of me. I want to always be by your side..._

_Love,_

_The Calmed Storm_

Back in her room again. This was becoming such a ritual, she wasn't sure what she would do if the letters ever stopped. Though, the first line eased that worry as this person assured her they wouldn't so easily. She wanted to know who this was... Why she had specifically become important to him. Yes, he has been listing the reasons he... well, loves her. He has also proven himself genuine, but without the actual events to mentally place between them she was lost. Help all she could. Hah, she was almost regretting her position as Class Rep and basic go-to-if-you-need-help position because she could name handfuls of times she has helped guys. Honestly, she probably couldn't even remember every moment because it was such a natural thing to do. She sighed softly, holding the letter to her chest. **"Are you ever going to reveal yourself?"** she asked the paper, as if the answer would just appeared. He wanted to always be by her side... but she had no clue how to make sure that would happen. **"Please tell me this is eventually going to lead up to you confessing in person,"** she pleaded in small whisper. Every week her desire to know his identity was increasing, but she honestly felt no closer to figuring it out.

* * *

Yoshiki hated detention... Not only was he without his true friends, he was stuck with the people he hated. The detention teacher loathed him, he was pretty sure, and while the people here acted all buddy-buddy, he was nowhere near the friend status they thought he was. Just because he used to smoke, they just assumed he was in the same boat, therefore a friend. It was annoying... They'd always ask if they could borrow a cigarette off of him, or offer one. They always came in with that powerful smoke smell, some even still had the smokey breath, but no one else seemed to care. There were also the druggies who came in high and annoying as hell... Such was his punishment of getting in a fight...

He had to suffer through it for a week... He left the class after it was their time to leave, about five, sighing with relief. This was totally ruining his work schedule too... just an all around bad thing... Well, maybe he learned his lesson, after a week of no pay... He pulled lightly on his jacket, grimacing at the scent of a smoker that had attached itself to him. Ugh... just the icing on the misery cake, huh?...

It was after the weekly student council meeting that felt like it had dragged on a bit longer than normal. Ayumi didn't mind so much, though, because it was generally a good time, unless the entire group got into an argument over policies and ideas. Which they sort of did today over the discussion of the class trip. Since it didn't come till May, the entire group decided to stick a pin in it to deal with at a later time. They really were politicians in the making, one of their teachers joked. Ayumi inwardly cringed, the idea of becoming a politician was as appealing as sticking her head in a vat of oil. It was about five when she said goodbye to her classmates to start heading home. She felt a moment of surprise when she saw Yoshiki leaving, when she remembered that he had been serving detention.

**"Kishinuma!"** Ayumi called in greeting, curious to see how his punishment was treating him. As she approached him, she caught a whiff of that distinctive smokey smell that she couldn't stand. Her expression shifted to sour and suspicious. First the fight, and now he was smoking? Her blood was practically bubbling in rage as he seemed to be trying his damnedest to undo any progress he made. **"I can't believe you! Are you actually smoking again!?"** she suddenly questioned sharply.

Yoshiki thought he was going to have a panic attack at Ayumi's voice. Agh! Of course she would have student council!... Err, well, she had it every week, but why had it been this week that it had went over it's normal time? He inwardly groaned, turning to face her. He became alarmed when her gaze turned angry and her voice became sharp. A lecture for the fight was called for, but he seriously didn't deserve this! He didn't want her view to be even worse of him, when he didn't have it coming! **"N-no! I swear I haven't!"** he quickly said in defense, seemingly a bit offended. He hadn't thought to supply his reason of why he smelled like this... His mind just thought it was common knowledge that smokers got stuck in detention a lot, so it slipped to be mentioned in his defense.

Ayumi looked wholly unconvinced by his words. Her hands went to her hips as she gave him a skeptical, annoyed look. **"Really? Because I wouldn't have believed last week you would stupidly have gotten into a fight, but look at you now,"** she pointed out with a frown. She knew smokers suffered relapses all the time, but she had had faith that Yoshiki wouldn't. Or had he never actually quit smoking and just hid it better? She didn't even want to go down that path of thought because it would just make her angrier with how stupid he could be. **"Is something happening that's making you revert back or something?"** she questioned. Fighting and smoking... ugh, before long he was never going to come to class, and he would stop doing classwork. The very idea made her want to smack him over the head. He was doing so well!

Yoshiki was growing a little panicked as she illustrated her disbelief of his answer. Normally, being mistrusted frustrated him, but there were two reasons to look at... Three if you counted the one about unable to be angry with Ayumi. One, he honestly was giving her some reason to doubt with his recent behavior... Two, it's not the mistrust he hated so much. It was skepticism, because she really cared about what he did, and what he did with his life. It was a... concerned mistrust. It meant a lot, but he also hoped he could get her to see that it really was just a misunderstanding. Or else... she really would hate him, and hold more disappointment than he could bare. **"I'm not reverting! I promise, Shinozaki... Something just set me off last week, but I'm **_**not**_** smoking,"** he persisted, trying to convey honesty, but that was easier said than done.

Ayumi wished she could just trust him flat out but the smell of smoke of wafting off of him with an intensity that she couldn't believe he hadn't smoked. She knew he could continuously tell her he didn't smoke, and she wouldn't be able to accept it. She felt like she was going to cross a line with the solution she was about to present, but it was the only way she could believe him. **"If that's true... then empty your pockets,"** she told him, looking at him expectantly. Sure, he could have bummed a cigarette off any of the guys in detention... but smokers always had at least a pack and/or lighter on them at all times. So, seeing if he was bare of that stuff would at least be able to settle her worries for the time being.

Yoshiki sighed with a flat expression, but at least it was a way to prove his innocence. He dug into his pockets, pulling from them his house keys, wallet, some paper, and other random items. He turned all the pockets inside out to prove that had been cleaned out, then did the same with his jacket pockets, that he didn't keep anything in. He looked at her with a questioning expression, holding out his hand so she could inspect the items herself.

Ayumi watched him with a neutral expression as he wordlessly showed the contents he was carrying. So, it was probably the smell rubbing off on him... Well, she felt a little better, even if there was still that buzzing worry in the back of her head that Yoshiki fell or may be about to fall off the wagon. **"Alright..."** she accepted, her posture relaxing a bit. **"You better be telling the truth here, though,"** she warned, since the possibility of one of his old delinquent friends or something lending him one of those cancer sticks was still there. If she ever caught him smoking, she was pretty certain she'd strangle him.

Yoshiki was relieved she was letting it go. He stuffed his pockets back in and placed the items back where they were, straightening his jacket ever so slightly. He then met her eyes, his sharp gray ones trying to prove sincerity. **"I am, I promise,"** he told her, his tone holding no bitterness toward her suspicion. After all, she was only try to help...

Ayumi looked at him in surprise, unsure how to process the amount of sincerity he seemed to be pushing forward. Well, she supposed she shouldn't be so quick to doubt him. He had been doing well so far... yes, there had been the hiccup last week, but she was under the hopeful belief that it will be an isolated incident. **"Okay... I believe you."**

Yoshiki relaxed when she responded, holding a faint smile. **"Good,"** he said softly, moving his hands into his jacket pockets. He was glad that mess had been cleared up... **"Well, anyways... see you later,"** he said in a sudden farewell. It was nearing Sunday, and he hadn't come up with a letter yet... He was a bit behind which made him nervous. Since they were going home at the same time, it seemed a bit weird to say goodbyes here, but it felt much too close to ask for a chance to walk home together. As if he had the courage anyways. He turned and headed out, but behind his indifferent expression his mind was already working towards another letter idea.

**"See you,"** Ayumi responded in farewell, watching for a moment as he left. She let out a heavy sigh. He was so impossible to read that it sometimes frustrated her. He seemed to be showing himself openly when he assured her it was the truth. Well, as long as nothing bad happened again, she could just let all of this go. The sun was beginning to set, so she decided it was time to hurry home herself. As thoughts of Yoshiki settled in her mind, her mind shifted back to the thought Sunday would be coming around again. Maybe this week she would get a hint to who this mystery guy is...

* * *

Yoshiki would've thought that her excitement about those letters would've encouraged him to tell her, but it only seemed to have the opposite effect... If he told her, and admitted to being the writer, she'd know _everything_ about how he felt, and that was somewhat unsettling... He wasn't sure if he wanted her to see straight through him. And if she still rejected him, like he imagined in his head, all that information would make their friendship even harder to continue. Needless to say, he was beginning to feel like he'd never tell her, that she'd never know who was the sender of those letters... She may be unhappy with no answer, but just couldn't... He... almost didn't send the next one, but... it was true, he always wanted to see her smile... The letter felt like an obligation to her at this point, he never wanted to let her down... So, he sent the sixth letter...


	7. Letter 6

_Dear Shinozaki Ayumi,_

_It's true I've always felt indebted to you for helping me, for saving me, more specifically, but there's a different trait that's the deeper reason of my strong feelings for you. You believe in me, believe that I can do what no one else expects of me, and can see my true self. You always amaze me, with the unwavering faith you hold in me, and other classmates as well. With your strength, I can pull myself from the hole I dug, and keep standing, as long as you're there to be my support._

_Love,_

_The Undeserving, Yet Thankful_

Ayumi was beginning to feel more restless as she read the sixth letter. This has been going on for over a month... the question hung over her head everyday. Sometimes with more intensity than others, but it was always buzzing back there. _'Who are you?'_ she thought with a furrowed brow. Admittedly she had begun to paint a picture in her head of who this boy may be, but she knew that was getting ahead of herself. So far, these letters were wholly sweet and revolved around their supposed relationship in the most vague terms. It was absolutely maddening. She wanted this to be more than a one-sided conversation... Though, whoever was writing these letters seemed content to not give any hints. Although... did she just miss such hints? She pulled out everything she had ever gotten from this secret admirer, reading them over. They all made her heart rush, but there didn't seem to be a single clue. She let out a heavy sigh, falling back on her bed. _'I just want to know who you are,'_ she thought desperately. How long could this really go on...?

Ayumi was out of her own head today. Lessons were hard to concentrate on, which only resulted in her taking longer to do her homework. Still, concentration was hard when she found herself analyzing each guy in the class in the vein hope that the one would finally come up and confess it was him. The bell rang but one of the teachers asked her to stay back. The faculty at the school were nice... at least to her. The only teacher she truly liked was Ms. Yui, but she tolerated the others well enough. After assuring the math teacher she was okay, just a little out of it, the teacher told her to take it easy. She nodded in understanding, thanking the teacher for her concern before collecting the books on her desk to leave. As her thoughts began to wander again, she made a sharp turn around the corner of the hallway and found herself hitting a wall. She had been moving fast enough that the impact sent her flying back to land on her butt, her books flying out of her hands. **"O-ow,"** she whimpered in pain, disoriented by the collision. She was able to gather her wits enough to realize that it was no wall that she hit. It was Yoshiki. **"Oh, wow, uh, sorry, Kishinuma. I wasn't really watching where I was going,"** she apologized for her carelessness in embarrassment.

Yoshiki had been a little dazed too, but it was completely different. His mind was buzzing worry and dread, rather than curiosity and want. He never wanted Ayumi to find out, that was for sure. It was too much pressure... Too many things could happen... Being together with her would be nice, but he'd take being single for a while over losing her as a friend forever. He needed her. It was between these thoughts that something ran into him. Had he been focused, he probably wouldn't have fallen along with her, but being zoned out he was easily knocked back. he landed on the ground with a small, painful grunt. It took his mind a moment to catch up with what happened, and it got some aid by Ayumi's voice. He looked up at her, resting his hands behind him. **"Uh... It's okay,"** he muttered, then glanced at the stuff she had dropped. He shifted slightly to pick up a few, just to help her out, but stumbled upon her sketchbook. Ah, yeah... she was dreaming to be an artist. He found his eyes glued on the drawing the pages had flipped to while it had fallen to the floor. She really was great... He was pretty hopeful for her.

Ayumi was stunned for a moment as he began to collect some of her stuff, an oddly gentlemanly thing for him to do. Though, he stopped and was just staring at something. Her eyes followed his gaze and a spike of panic went through her. Her sketchbook seemed to have fallen open during the fall. It was mostly filled with a bunch practice stuff and a few fun drawings. Her one rule with it was that she wasn't allowed to throw any pages away, so some of the stuff... well most of it wasn't very good. Her confidence in her own art was constantly wavering and Yoshiki's gaze on the pages shot her into embarrassment. **"Ah-th-that's just practice stuff,"** she admitted quickly, moving to snatch the book up and shut it so the art wasn't in plain sight. **"It's not very good..."** she added out of habit. She always felt like she needed to precede showing her art by denouncing its quality.

Yoshiki's eyes lifted to meet her's after she snatched the sketchbook away. While he had been prying, he guessed, he had to greatly disagree. He knew that people who didn't draw saw everything as pretty good, but he really meant it when he said it was good. **"That's 'not very good'?"** he asked with a skeptic tone, his eyebrow slightly raised at her. **"I know they say you're your own worst critic, but you shouldn't downgrade yourself. That's great, actually,"** he corrected her, picking up a few more papers that had been cast away on the floor, then handed them to her. He wouldn't lie to her, so his support would always be genuine. He's seen other artists at this school, in their grade, so he knew what he was comparing it to. It really was fantastic. **"The best of what I've seen,"** he clarified with a firm tone.

Ayumi knew Yoshiki wouldn't lie to fluff up her ego. He wasn't the type. Blunt and tactless with his opinions, for the most part. His words just caused her face to go to a deeper shade of red as she was incapable of accepting compliments towards her art. Hinoe always told her she needed to stop downgrading herself too. It wasn't something she tried to do... it happened unconsciously. **"Thanks... but it really isn't anything compared to real artists,"** she explained. Whenever she ever felt remotely good about her art, disillusionment was always a few clicks away on the internet. It was awfully humbling in the worse way to see how far she had to go. She took the papers, gathering the last book off the floor. **"I have a really long way to go,"** she sighed, eyes stuck on the front of her books because meeting his eyes was too embarrassing.

Yoshiki watched her, about to scold her for doing it again, but paused as she continued. He watched her eyes go down, noting that her red face and shy behavior was... pretty cute... He stopped the thought before it turned him into an equally flustered mess, moving to stand. **"Well...,"** he started as he straightened, then offered his hand to help her up. **"Just promise you won't **_**stop**_** going, alright?"** he asked with a small, reassuring smile before adding, **"Then I won't stop supporting you."**

Ayumi's eyes followed the movement out of reaction, watching as he stood up. The blush on her face never wavered as he expressed his support in her dream. She found the encouragement embarrassing to accept but it always lifted her heart when those she cared about were behind her with this career. After all, her parents only gave her grief about the idea. **"Heh...I promise I won't,"** she told him as she accepted his hand. Once back on her feet, she smiled sheepishly at him. **"Thanks, Kishinuma,"** she told him sincerely.

Yoshiki let go of her hand once she was upright again, the small contact a little too much for him to keep his cool, despite it's innocence. He looked her in the eyes, sensing that sometimes, he still could be of some help... That was good. If he could help her, he'd be happy. **"Anytime,"** he told her with a satisfied smile. He glanced to a clock that sat on the wall, noting silently that it was a bit late. **"Ah, well, let's get to class... We'll be late if we don't hurry,"** he told her turning to walk on ahead of her, with his hands in his pockets. He treasured this too much... He couldn't endanger their friendship... It would just be something he kept inside, something that would hopefully just dissolve with time.


	8. The Reveal

Those letters were still coming, and no guy had even given a hint that it was them... It felt like the ultimate opportunity to grab a free ride! The horror representative was probably easy picking to anyone who wrote her those letters... Hehe, all anyone had to do was claim responsibility, and she would be like putty in their hands.

It was too good an opportunity... Who would waste it?! Not Kyuji, that was for sure! It was Friday, and he was dead set on catching Ayumi in his trap. So, he held her back after the last bell. He waited until everyone else left, in case the actual secret admirer was actually part of class 2-9. **"Shinozaki-san... I have something to tell you,"** he started out, his eyes firmly on her's. He would have to sound pretty sincere, if he was to match up to whatever those letters actually conveyed. He'd just have to hope she wouldn't even think to test him. Well, who would? No one thought that anyone could be lying about writing them. She would just be excited that he was 'revealing' himself.

The day seemed to be passing by normally, just as they had for the past month or so. The weekends always made her stomach flutter a little, in knowledge that Sunday was so close. As she went to leave the classroom, she found herself stopped by Kyuji. While it was pretty odd he'd be stopping her, she assumed it was probably a question about classwork or some class chore scheduling. Although... his behavior was making her question that it was something so simple. Plus, they seemed to be waiting for the other students to file out of the classroom. She tried to stay composed, not sure how she should interpret anything happening. **"What is it, Kyuji-kun?"** she asked politely, trying to keep her expression neutral. It was... more likely a question involving school than what she was letting her mind begin to make wild guesses with.

Kyuji stared for a moment, as if gathering courage. He had to make this believable, so she'd actually like him and all that crap. **"Shinozaki-san, I..,"** he began, then took a short dramatic pause before continuing, **"I'm the one who wrote you those letters."**

Ayumi felt a mix of dread and excitement between his pauses, unsure how she was going to handle what she was pretty sure was coming. Then it happened. After so many countless hours of thinking and analyzing and rereading those letters, he finally came forward. Her breath hitched. She really didn't know Kyuji well... honestly, the only boys in the class she knew with any confidence were the three in her group of friends. **"I- uh- w-wow,"** she choked out, face beaming red. The words were mostly forced out because she didn't want stunned silence to follow the admittance. **"Why... have you finally come forward?"** she asked, unsure how to process all of this. She had almost been sure that the letters would have hinted to him coming forward before he actually did. No amount of mental preparation would have helped her in that moment, though.

Kyuji was pretty relieved and confident that his plan would work as it seemed she didn't ask for proof. He really shouldn't have worried about it, though. The question she did ask could easily be thought of on the spot, so it was no problem for him. **"I was tired of just sitting on the sidelines,"** he explained with a firm voice. Her red face told she was as easy as he thought she was going to be. **"I can't stand to wait anymore... I want to be with you."**

Ayumi swallowed thickly, a warmth pulsing through her entire body. It wasn't too hard picturing Kyuji writing those words... then again, she didn't know him well. But, she definitely wanted to get to know him better now that he had finally come forward. Her heart was moving faster than it would if she had just ran a marathon. She had been visualizing this happening for so long now. **"I... want to... be with you too,"** she responded softly, a hand clutched against her chest. She couldn't believe this was finally happening.

Yoshiki had stayed after, outside the classroom because he had been suspicious of Kyuji holding Ayumi back. What could _he_ want with Ayumi? When it first came out, he almost felt like the ability to breath had been taken away. It was a sharp blow, someone stealing his credit... But... he hadn't taken it himself... Did that really make it up for grabs?... It was true that he didn't want to claim ownership of them, out of fear... and Ayumi always wanted to know, so maybe-

No... Maybe he didn't have the right to shoo other boys from taking Ayumi, but he wouldn't stand for them taking advantage of her. She was... saying yes on merits that weren't Kyuji's. He didn't want the credit... but he still wanted to protect Ayumi from anything hurtful, and a guy lying to get her had bad news written all over it.

He still wasn't sure what he'd say... but he had to stop this before Ayumi was completely swayed. Kyuji couldn't win... After all, he didn't know what the letters said, so he'd have no proof. He actually may just come off as protective and not have to reveal anything, if this went in the way it was going in his head. He took a deep breath to recover his posture, quickly entering the almost empty classroom. Kyuji seemed a little shocked, but didn't think he was in danger just yet.

Ayumi was wrapped up in overwhelming feelings when another person's entrance caught her eyes. She felt a rise in embarrassment as she noticed Yoshiki's unwanted presence. In all her imaginings of this moment, nothing like this popped into her head. **"Kishinuma... what do you need?"** she asked in a strained, sharp tone because he was sorta walking in on the middle of something he shouldn't be.

Yoshiki gave a small glare to Kyuji, then looked at Ayumi as she addressed him so casually. He could tell she was irritated with him... but he couldn't stand by while Kyuji lied. Seeing her with any guy would be hard and painful, but watching her in a relationship that he built for someone else would be agonizing. At that moment, his anger turned his mind irrational, and his plan of actually being tactful about this flew out the window. He was going to just try and interrogate him, then it would be up to Ayumi because she would see that he didn't know what the letters said, but now his mind was turning irrational, and he found himself just diving in. **"Don't listen to this damn liar,"** he said suddenly, his look of intense disdain pointed at Kyuji. The boy in question was only confused, and didn't yet address the accusation. What the hell was Kishinuma so angry about?

Ayumi watched Yoshiki with narrowed eyes, noticing the glare he shot at Kyuji. He was acting so oddly, and it was really just irritating her that he was waltzing in like this. At his sudden accusation of Kyuji's dishonesty, her eyes widened as she stood shocked for a second. **"What the hell are you talking about?"** she questioned, too confused to be overly angry. **"Kyuji isn't lying... Right?"** she asked him, suddenly finding doubt injected into her system. No... no way it was a lie. Who would be stupid and underhanded enough that they would try to take on the letters of a complete stranger's as their own? After all, the topics touched in the letters would be brought up, and it would only be a matter of time before things unraveled.

Yoshiki stood his ground, but didn't talk just yet. If his rational side could catch up with his actions, he'd be completely panicked, but at least he'd be able to remedy this. But no, his mouth was far too ahead of his brain.

**"Of course I'm not! What the hell's wrong with you, Kishinuma?"** Kyuji asked back with a sharp glare, though in the back of his head, he was a bit worried. Either Yoshiki actually knew who the real writer was, or he was just overly clingy with Ayumi. It better be the latter... If it wasn't, he was screwed. **"I bet you're just possessive... Trying to ruin her life just to keep control over her?"** he questioned further, trying to keep hold on his confidence. Any loner like Yoshiki who suddenly had friends was bound to have a problem... Well, at least, he hoped that was the case.

Yoshiki paused, holding his narrowed eyes on Kyuji for a moment. His eyes glanced to Ayumi, those blue eyes never ceasing to calm him down, but it also made something else spur inside of him. His look softened for a moment, his eyes becoming shifty as his nerves became disheveled. **"I'm-... I'd never hurt Shinozaki... I just want to protect her,"** he said, finally settling his glare back on Kyuji. His rational brain short-circuited for a moment once it understood his reference to one of the letters, only in more him-like vocabulary.

Ayumi was quickly becoming overwhelmed with all of this. She could hardly believe Yoshiki would just accuse Kyuji of lying for the hell of it, but as the conversation went on she was beginning to think he was just being overprotective. That's how guy-friends were, right? Although she wasn't so sure Satoshi or Sakutaro would go doing anything like this... Yoshiki's personality was a lot sharper than their's, though. At the softening of his expression, even just for a moment, she felt herself just become conflicted with how to deal with this. He wants to protect her. She couldn't be angry at him for that, but at the same time she felt like her dog just bit an innocent person. **"Kishinuma, this doesn't have anything to do with you... You really should just go,"** Ayumi advised him in a leveled tone. She was still irritated with him on some level, but honestly she couldn't fault him for being a watchful friend. It would just be easier to deal with this if he left.

Yoshiki felt an ache in his chest as she started to shoo him away. But it did... It did have to do with him... It was as much his business as it was Ayumi's... He found himself start to want her to know, to give her the true answer she wanted. She may not love him... and this may be endangering what he held dear, but he knew if he left at her request and let her sort it out herself, he would just keep finding excuses not to tell her. It was scary... and it was risking so much, but even if it went bad... He'd still be there for her, as promised, and he found that he desperately wanted her to know that. To... know everything. **"But... it does... I...,"** he said slowly, his eyes going to avoid her at first. He felt his face warm slightly, his eyes narrowed at the ground as his heart beat painfully fast. With a last shove in his mind, he turned his eyes to look into her's with determination. **"**_**I**_** wrote them."**

Ayumi tilted her head in confusion as he said he was somehow involved with all of this. When his sharp gray eyes met her's, she felt her heart jump into her throat. Her breaths halted when he claimed to writing those letters. Her brain literally short-circuited, the information just seemed... wrong. Those letters... and her image of Yoshiki... the two really didn't collide well in her brain. Besides, Yoshiki never played things coy. Being a secret admirer just wasn't his style. But why would he say he wrote them if he didn't? She let out a heavy exhale, trying to come to terms with this. She had two boys claiming that they had written her heartfelt letter after heartfelt letter... She had more reason to believe Yoshiki given her friendship with him, but it was such a hard fact to accept. Yoshiki wasn't the type to sit at home and pour over little details in his head. He wasn't the type to write love letters. He was probably just trying to stop her from going out with Kyuji. **"You...,"** she finally uttered, now unconvinced by both boys. **"No way...,"** she said quietly. It just didn't fit. Yoshiki didn't love her. They were just close friends.

Kyuji seemed to panicked by this new information to say anything just yet, but Yoshiki wasn't done. He knew what the letters said, and why this whole thing had started... He was the only one who knew, in fact. Her disbelief had been expected, but was no less hurtful. It meant she didn't see him in that light at all, but he wasn't backing down. He wouldn't let Kyuji claim something that wasn't his... and there was still the weight on his chest that was ever increasing every day he held these affections to himself. He took a deep breath to gather his courage to explain himself, **"... On your birthday, I wanted to give it to you in person... but I chickened out. I was just going to drop it off, with the excuse that I had to work. But... I forgot to take off the note, and add my name. So... when we got back to school, I accidentally became this... secret admirer... even though I had never intended to tell you anything, because... I didn't want to lose our friendship. But you... you were really happy about it, so I... started working on a letter for each week..."** Now came the really 'proving' himself part. They had talked about the present in class, so that story could easily be made up, but the next part was only something the real writer and Ayumi would know. **"The first... I wrote about your smile. Then, your voice. The third, your eyes... On the fourth, I had heard from Mayu that Mai had talked to you, and I could also tell that you were more depressed than usual... So I tried to gain your faith again, so that you would still be happy about getting them... For the fifth, I was starting to get dangerously personal when mentioning my temper, and your ability calm me down... The last, the sixth... It's about how this even started,"** he explained, ticking off each letter, even though probably only one was needed. He wanted her to believe beyond a doubt... and to know his thinking behind each. And by 'this', in the last note, he meant his affections for her... He braced himself for whatever was to come, but at least this was all said and done with... He was uncertain, nervous, and scared, but he still felt a bit better after having spilled everything. It may have been leaving his heart too exposed, vulnerable to any bad reaction he may receive, but at least he didn't feel like he was being crushed anymore. He wasn't even really regarding Kyuji's existence anymore, and Kyuji sort of hoped he could just slip out of the classroom unnoticed. He was busted, and definitely didn't want the class representative's wrath.

Ayumi had completely forgotten Kyuji's existence as she became wrapped up as Yoshiki proved without a doubt that he knew the letters just as well as she did. It all made a lot of sense as he began to spell it out and puzzles pieces fell into place. There was no other way for him to possibly know what was inside of the letters. After all, while she gave Mayu a couple little vague details and such, she kept the content's possessively guarded. Also... the later letters made a lot of sense with the clarifying light on them. The writer of the letters and Yoshiki began to blend a little easier in her mind as she realized she had missed the couple little, probably unintentional, clues. She had dismissed Yoshiki as a possibility from the get-go, considering their longstanding friendship. So, he ended up getting wrapped into the secret admirer thing as a mistake on her birthday... He was never going to actually come out and confess, he was just happy the letters brought her happiness. This was a lot to take in. She leaned back against a desk, staring at Yoshiki as she worked hard to fully absorb this new information. She had told herself that when, or rather if, this admirer ever came out, she would definitely give the relationship a chance. Of course, she never guessed it would have been one of her friends. It wouldn't be fair... to not give this a chance. Those letters meant the world to her now, and Yoshiki was the author of each and every one of them. She always knew he wasn't entirely rough edges, but she never imagined he had such a soft side to him. She looked down, brow furrowed as she shuffled through these thoughts. She had to be careful... if their friendship blew up, it would ruin so much. But, that didn't seem as large a possibility as the relationship going well. After all, he was the one that had sat down and thought out letters about her smile, voice, eyes, and the entire nature of how he felt towards her. Even if he never intended for her to know it was him, he had opened up his heart to her. And now that he was here, taking responsibility for what had been written, his heart was open for her to do what she wished with it.

Ayumi leaned thoughtfully against the desk for a moment before pushing off it lightly to be back flat on her feet. She knew what she wanted, risks or not. She approached Yoshiki, pushing up on her tip-toes so her lips could press softly against his. She held it for a moment, so she could enjoy the sparking warmth making its way down her limbs. She pulled back away, looking up at him and letting out a shaky breath.

Yoshiki waited nervously as the silence developed, and Ayumi seemed to be in a state of great thought. By this time, Kyuji had already slipped away, using his chance to get out unscathed. He tensed as she moved to stand back up straight, taking every ounce of strength he had to not tremble with anxiety. He had always expected nothing to come from his confession... and if something did, it would be more than likely their friendship imploding. He was ready for her to say something, bracing himself for whatever came, but he only became puzzled as she stepped closer. Then, when she pushed up on her toes, his mind blanked and eyes widened. His heart felt out of control as his eyes widened, and his head felt light. He was certain his face was red, too. Ayumi... was kissing him... He didn't have long to enjoy it past the shock factor, and even as she met his eyes, he was still too stunned to speak. Really, he didn't know what to say. He... hadn't expected this in the slightest...

Ayumi's face was a deep red as she waited for a moment. He seemed to be caught in the same stunned silence that engulfed her earlier. She took a moment to speak, unable to find her voice as she absorbed the fact she had kissed Yoshiki. Her first kiss had been with Yoshiki. If someone told her that just a couple of hours ago she would have laughed. **"I want to give this a try,"** she admitted, eyes shifting away from a moment in embarrassment. She forced herself to bring them back onto him, though. **"Those letters... they mean so much to me..., and I don't want to let a great thing pass me by,"** she tried to explain, finding herself stunned that she was jumping headfirst into this. **"I can't say that I love you the way you wrote you loved me..."** she said quietly, finding it increasingly hard to look at him. **"But I can say that I'm falling in love,"** she confessed, her heart going so fast in her chest that she was worried it may just stop working. Maybe it was silly to let the letters sweep her off her feet as they had, but she had no control over what she was feeling. All she knew was the kiss had felt right, and the idea of them entering a relationship together wasn't as scary as she initially thought.

Yoshiki stared for a moment, absorbing all that was happening. Give it... a try? Falling in love... He felt like his heart was on the verge of exploding, and he still had trouble finding his voice. But he had to say _something_. It was unfair that she was having to say everything. **"That's-I... I'd like to too... Try, that is,"** he muttered, avoiding eye contact. He wasn't good with things like this... It was turning his normal cool posture into a flustered mess. He just... couldn't believe this was happening... He forced his eyes back on her, but his face was no less red. **"S-sorry... It's just, I never... thought this would happen, so...,"** he tried to explain slowly, but still ended up stumbling over his words.

Yoshiki seemed to be a little more apt to writing than speaking in this matter, she noticed. Not that she blamed him. Writing allowed revisions while speaking did not give that luxury. Plus, there was the fact that the other person was reacting to what you were saying in front of you. She smiled softly at him, realizing that he was quite cute with his cool composure wiped away and a heavy blush on his face. **"I'm glad,"** she said quietly, realizing they were making the step to be in a relationship. The others were going to freak out... but that didn't matter right now. At his jumbled language and apology she assured him, **"It's alright..."** Although... **"So... you were really never going to come out and tell me you wrote those letters?"** she questioned, finding it hard to believe he would do all that work to never try and pursue the end goal. Also, she noticed briefly that Kyuji had slipped away, and she was going to have to bite his head off later for trying to take advantage of her.

Yoshiki smiled slightly, nervous but still glad this had turned out so well. He then became more alerted at her question, glancing away again. **"Y-yeah... I... didn't want to ruin our friendship, and I knew you liked Satoshi, so... That, and... I didn't really write those with the intention of you knowing I wrote them... because honestly, it's... **_**really**_** embarrassing that you know all that...,"** he admitted, his eyes toward the ground and his hand moving to the back of his neck nervously.

Ayumi pushed some hair behind her ear nervously, unsure what to do with her hands. She felt a jolt of anxiety at mention of Satoshi. While it hadn't been completely washed away, the letters had changed her attention so much that he was much less the presence he used to be in her mind. She smiled at him, realizing how hard it probably was to be in his position at the moment. He had poured a lot into those letters, but with the intention of her never knowing the real author. Now she knew... and honestly with them getting together, anyone in the class who heard about the letters would know Yoshiki had written them. **"You shouldn't be embarrassed...,"** she urged him gently. **"Those letters... they're the nicest things I've ever received,"** she admitted with a red face, and her eyes moved to look at the ground.

Yoshiki didn't feel any less embarrassed by her words. WHile it was nice to know she liked what they said, it still felt like a lot more than she should know at the start of their relationship. After all, it really was _everything_. And not only that, but everyone would know he wrote them, especially their friends... Ugh, he was drowning in mortification. **"Aah... m-maybe, but it's... It really is everything... I... I'm glad you like them and all, but they're... Nn, it's hard to explain...,"** he muttered, feeling himself fall deeper into becoming crippled with embarrassment, **"And... everyone will probably know... It's... a lot that I wasn't prepared on owning up to...," **he admitted, gulping quietly as he tried his best to keep himself from trembling, **"It's really like Morishige said... I pretty much am a coward."**

Ayumi looked at Yoshiki in concern, her stomach twisting in anxiety that he was regretting owning up to the letters. He seemed more nervous and mortified by all of this than happy. Her hands clutched against her chest, unsure how to rid him of all these unpleasant feelings. **"You aren't,"** she began to say, eyes glancing aside. **"You were brave to ever write that first note, even if I only ever got it by accident, and when you kept writing those letters. And you say you weren't prepare to own up to it, but you could easily have outed Kyuji without admitting yourself. After all, I just needed to ask him one specific question about those letters and he would have had to fold. You're brave, Yoshiki. You may not mean to be, but you are,"** she told him firmly, hoping something would resonate with him. If not... she'd have to keep trying to find something that would lighten his spirit.

Yoshiki felt a little bad after she persisted to try and convince him otherwise. He was dragging her down... He was nervous, and all she knew was making this harder for him to dive into, but... he was over thinking everything. This was a good thing... He'd probably get ridiculed for the first couple of weeks from the students who always had a bone to pick with him, but other than that, the embarrassment would probably only last a few days. The relationship, though... It would hopefully last much, much longer... **"I'm... sorry. I shouldn't be like this,"** he admitted with a touch of shame, finally looking up at her and letting his hand go back to his side. **"Uh, I've been... a bit of a downer, huh?... Anything I can do to make it up to you?"** he asked in an offer, trying to correct his behavior.

Ayumi relaxed a little bit, but there was still that edge of nervousness in the pit of her stomach that he was regretting how all of this happened. After all, the letters were something he fell into without the intention of it leading to this and the only reason he did confess to writing them was in the moment of trying to stop Kyuji from getting claim. She smiled weakly at him, shaking her head lightly. **"It's okay... You don't have to do anything,"** she assured him lightly. She felt like she had kept cornering him to this point and it just didn't feel right asking for anything more from him.

Yoshiki looked at her, slightly uncertain. He still felt pretty bad about all this... She shouldn't have to cheer him up. He should be happy that she was even giving him a chance. Getting upset about embarrassment was stupid, and unfair to Ayumi... **"You sure?"** he asked, seemingly eager to make up for it.

Ayumi looked at him, unsure if she should accept the gesture or not. He seemed to want to move past his embarrassment with the whole thing... It would probably be easier to do as the two moved forward, right? She couldn't really think of anything she wanted from him, besides just spending time together to see how this fit. **"Uh... well...,"** she mumbled, suddenly feeling incredibly shy. Her fingers played nervously with the hem of her skirt. **"Do you have work?"** she asked firstly. She didn't want to put him in a position where he couldn't fulfill her request because he had a shift.

Yoshiki watched her carefully. It seemed she would actually make a request, so he was somewhat relieved. That would take off the guilt a bit, he guessed. **"No, not today,"** he answered clearly, anxious to hear what she wanted from him.

Ayumi shifted nervously, her face warming up to the point where she felt the sun couldn't even rival the heat coming off her. She could just request the two go get something to eat or something else that was similar to a first date. But... it honestly felt like they couldn't start in such a simple, easy place. Everything that would be found out on the first date would be known between the two. She honestly wanted something more private with him... N-not that she wanted to go rushing into anything, but she just wanted to be somewhere they could talk and be together without prying eyes. Would her request cross a line? Their relationship was starting off at an odd point... not that she minded it. It was nice to know their was already something substantial there for her. **"Uh...,"** she stumbled a little bit. She couldn't look at him, the presence of his eyes on her was too strong. **"W...would you... like to... uh, go to your place and ... hang out...?"**

Yoshiki put all his focus on her, his blush dying down somewhat as his mind was somewhere else. He was about to urge her on, but she eventually got out what she wanted to in the first place. His blush returned somewhat, his heart picking up at the request. Ayumi... at his house? As he thought about this, his mind retraced through their conversations to see how it led up to this, and only became more flustered after finally noticing use of his first name. Of course, it was understood that they wouldn't be using formalities anymore, but hearing it was different. **"Uh, sure, If you want, Ayumi...,"** he answered, fighting to keep his eyes on her. That wasn't necessary, but he had really wanted to try it out. It... rolled off his tongue nicely...

Ayumi wondered how long this awkwardness would hang over their heads. Well, the switch from friends to couple would be a bit of a process, but at least there was a certain relaxation she felt with him that she wouldn't with another boy. She looked up at him, something about hearing her first name from him stirred her. She smiled shyly, nodding slightly in confirmation that she wanted the two to be alone. **"Yeah... I do,"** she said quietly because she wasn't sure if body language was sufficient enough.

Yoshiki picked up on her nod, but the verbal confirmation was nice too. He gave a nod back, feeling his embarrassment settle back in, but he guessed it really was just best to dive in. He took a deep breath to muster his courage, reaching over to take her hand and lead her out. The contact of her hand was making his mind fog slightly with amazement that it was happening. Her hand was soft and warm... Much different than he imagined, in a good way... and he'd get to savor it the whole trip to his apartment.

Ayumi felt a spark at the contact, and her face grew warmer as she tried to adapt to what would be the new norm between the two. She was stunned by everything that had just happened. She held Yoshiki's hand back firmly, allowing him to lead her to his apartment. It was odd, Yoshiki was her secret admirer... But in the same time, she could see the words fitting perfectly into their relationship. His constant protection of her, and her constant support of him was evident in the letters. She just never even took a moment to even consider the possibility of him doing such things. Writing romantic letters... It didn't seem his style. Admittedly it wasn't like the idea had come to it, rather it had been dropped in his lap. Still, he hardly hesitated to keep on even if it meant risk of exposing himself. He just... wanted to see her happy. This wasn't what she expected, but she could easily accept this. Yoshiki continued to win her over with his actions and words. As corny as it may be, it seemed what she had been searching for this entire time had been right in front of her. She wouldn't be blinded to the truth anymore. She was looking towards the future with bright, opened eyes.


End file.
